How to Write a 5-Paragraph Essay in Fifteen Minutes (Part I)
A couple of months ago, I had a brilliant idea. I was sick. This is hard for me to admit, because I walk around all the time boasting about my robust immune system, which I tell everyone I get because I defy things like hand sanitizer, washing hands, and general good hygienic practices. This isn’t true, of course; I’m very clean. But it’s become a big joke among my students and me. They’ll ask if they can go to the restroom to wash their hands before lunch and I’ll respond with an eye roll and say something like, “Whatever, Princess. Go ahead,” which always gets a pretty good giggle. So when I got sick, we were all shocked. I missed a day of work…and then another. I probably could have skipped a third day, but I hate missing school and I’m stubborn and I didn’t have a fever (had never actually had one, in fact; just felt crappy) and I wanted to get back at it. I love my job. That being said, I’m not a jerk who’s going to sp...